I am so frustrated this morning. Have you ever noticed that when you are overweight, people do not feel like they have the right to comment on your weight, etc. However, lose a little, and it's like you stuck out a sign that says "open for comments".
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the comments I have gotten from most people. "You look great!" "WOW! I almost didn't recognize you!" and even "Where did your butt go?" have really made my day. But the, "You are too skinny, you need to stop", "You are going to blow away", "You've stopped this diet haven't you?", "Why are you running, you have already lost plenty of weight" comments are driving me insane. Why do you think you get a say-so?
Then again, in the back of my mind, I doubt myself. When I was in high school, I lost weight. A lot of weight. Too much weight. I had a problem. It actually took a small intervention on my parents' part to snap me out of it. It wasn't Lifetime Movie of the Week serious, but it was out of hand. I had pretty low self-esteem, a couple of influences in my life which were ZERO help, and just needed to snap out of it.
So, in the back of my mind I wonder, is this like last time? Maybe they are right? Then I also remember that I know people who have been overweight for a while and when they lose weight, it looks drastic and almost like they are too skinny, but I think that's because I'm used to seeing them heavier. Maybe this is the case with me.
I don't know. I know that according to ideal weight guidelines for my height, 125-145 is an ideal weight range. I fall smack in the middle. My goal is 130.
I know that this time, I'm eating healthier and I'm exercising. I do treat myself to cake, ham and cheese croissants, BBQ sausage, etc. Just not every day. I'm not depriving myself. I think I'm doing this the right way.
I don't want to look skinny....I want to look healthy. I want to look "athletic". Why do people care? What makes them think they have any input into the situation?
When I say "people" I mean the coach at the school who was helping with drop offs this morning, the electrician at the mill whom I don't even know that well, a supervisor in the front office who has a comment about EVERYTHING.
However, my husband, mother, aunt, cousin, friend at work, and people closest to me haven't said anything negative. UUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!
This lifestyle change should make me feel happy, not stressed.
On another, much happier note, I had a message on my facebook last night from someone from high school I had ran into a month or so ago at the mall....
"I never told you BUT when i saw you in the mall that day and how little you were I told myself I CAN DO IT TOO! So all thanks to you i have (so far) lost 6.6 lbs. THANKS!!! "
I seriously cried after reading this. How sweet of her!! I am so proud of her!!!
So, I'm going to focus on this and not the other crap and have a good day. I'm going to run tonight and be excited about it. Take that Negative Nellies!!!!
Melissa
Friday, September 11, 2009
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7 comments:
I think there's something to people wanting others to be heavier than they are. When a size 10 sees you lose weight, she gets encouraged. But when she sees you get to a size 6, she's like, "Whoa, now I look fat in comparison," and thus the comments that you're losing too much weight. Remember, it's not about you. It's about them.
Thank you for inspiring me to do the C25K. I HATE running, but I survived the first workout.
Yeah see, this is exactly what I was getting at with my last comment. STFU people...!!!
You have a great attitude!
That facebook message must have been so wonderful to receive. You do have an inspiring story, and it's fabulous that people have been moved by it.
Try not to let the negative comments get to you. I don't think people mean them to be discouraging, and if they do, pooey on them. You should be proud of your success.
It is important to be careful you don't go too far, but I think right now you're fine, You're being healthy, not anorexic. Because you do have a history of going to far, it is important to be mindful of it. But, right now your goal is in a healthy range, and from everything I can tell you've got a healthy attitude.
Good for you ! Your right ..... I've had the same experiences with the whole comment thing but I just shrug and walk away.....I know what I am doing and that is all that matters ! I am so glad you've decided to focus on the positive, and lucky for you , all the people who really matter, think you look healthy and great !
You are making healthy choices and your goal is very reasonable... don't let other people make you feel inadequate. You are so close to goal! I'm really excited for you!
What matters is how proud you feel about your achievement Melissa. The naysayers abound and always will. You know where you want to be, you know what you have dealt with in the past and you are aware that this is not what is happening now. You feel good and healthy and vibrant and alive. Don't give anyone the power or control to take that away from you. You look awesome and that is all that matters. Fuck 'em all!
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